Thankful

I've had a lot going on lately. Sometimes I tend to over commit and end up signing up to do more things than I really should. On top of that, we're in the process of moving, which is a bit stressful. All that aside, I noticed a trend on Facebook in which people are posting something that they are thankful for every day. I like it, it's nice to read something positive on Facebook rather than all the usual negativity that tends to blossom there. It's almost like a breath of fresh air, and I wish that the trend could last longer. Anyway, that's where this blog is coming from. So without further ado, here's my list of things I'm thankful for in 2012:

1. I am thankful for God, Jesus, my savior. The one who truly loves me when I'm at my worst. Who died for me. Who is a mystery to me more and more every day. I can't put into words how thankful I am that there is someone out there bigger than I am.
2. I am thankful for my husband, John Richard Lindsey. He's such a great person. He always wants to do whats right and good, and has the most caring heart ever. I'm the luckiest girl in the world, he's my hero. :)
3. I am thankful for my sister. She's gone through a whole lot in her life, and she is the strongest girl I know. She's always there to listen to me when I need to be a debbie downer. She makes me laugh, she understands me more than anyone else could possibly and honestly I don't know what I'd do without her.
4. I am thankful for my family. I don't see them or talk to them as much these days, but I love them and am blessed to have such a supportive group of people in my life. They do so much for all of us and I am so appreciative of that.
5. I am thankful for my church family. They are a bunch of hilarious, crazy, shenanigan filled people and I just love them! They make me smile. They are a reminder to me of why I'm here and I am so happy to be able to serve with them.
6. I am thankful for my niece. She's the most beautiful, smart, and funny almost 2 year old I've ever seen. She's the most awesome little girl in the world and I can't express how in love with her I am! She inspires me in every sense of the word. Mia Marie you're the best!
7. I am thankful for my pets. Mad Martigan, Lola Anne Ethel, and Shmoo, (yes, even her). You have brought such joy and chaos into my life. You have shown me unfailing love (maybe not from Shmoo), and make me laugh all the time. My little cuddle buddies whom I am forever in debt to.
8. I am thankful for my job. It's challenging at times, it pushes me to try and be a better person than I want to be. It brings me such joy at times. I am thankful to have a job.
9. I am thankful for my coworkers. They're a loving bunch and it shows that they truly care about the kids we work with and they care for eachother.
10. I am thankful for my home. It's new to me and I'm excited for all the memories that will be made here.
11. I am thankful for the cars John and I have that get us to and from our jobs, as well as all over the state of New Hampshire or wherever else we feel like going.
12. I am thankful for friends. Friends make the world go round. Friends and family are a blurry line. I am so thankful to have such caring friends in my life.
13. I am thankful for the people of Haiti. The trip I went on last summer was life changing. The people I met in Haiti were some of the kindest and most giving people I have ever met in my entire life. Thinking about the Haitians and how loving they are really makes me put my life in perspective. The things that we dwell on here in America that are so trivial really don't make a difference in the big scheme of things. What matters most is loving our neighbors as ourselves. Whether that means your neighbor in Farmington, NH or your neighbor in Port Au Prince, Haiti, really doesn't make a difference. Caring for each other is the only thing that will get us through this life.
14. I am thankful for dance. It's such an expressive art form and it makes me feel alive. I may not be the best dancer, but I enjoy it and it brings me happiness. I am also thankful for the people I've met at my dance studio!
15. I am thankful for snow! It's magical.
16. I am thankful for sunshine. Warm sunny days. Summer time.
17. I am thankful for the beach and the ocean. I don't think there is a place in the world I'd rather be on a hot, summer day, than at the beach boogie boarding the day away.
18. I am thankful for this country and all the freedoms that come with living here. I take these things for granted a lot of the time.
19. I am thankful for super hot showers. Nothing quite like it.
20. I am thankful for music. Loud music. Good music. Music in the shower. Music in the car. All the time, everywhere, music makes things better for me. I am thankful that people make music and that I have the ability to hear, enjoy, and sing along to it.
21. I am thankful for my dad. He's the best dad in the world. He's a super hard worker and has always instilled in me that having a good work ethic is important. He's hilarious, he's caring, he loves to cook. He's all I could want in a father and I am blessed to call him mine.
22. I am thankful for my special k. She's like an angel sent to me, always has great advice, and has this ability to make you feel like everything is going to work out. She loves Christmas as much as I do!
23. I am thankful for Nancy. She has to be the most giving person I've ever met. She will just do anything to help out someone in need.
24. I am thankful for food pantries and soup kitchens, and organizations that take care of people who are having it rough.
25. I am thankful for GYG. The teens are just awesome and the leaders I serve with are some of the best friends I've ever had.
26. I am thankful for sour cream. Never have I enjoyed a dairy product so much as this one. Sour cream, you have gotten me through some intense spicy nacho binge eating times and am I ever thankful for you!
27. I am thankful for energy drinks. I know they're not the best thing to consume, but my goodness am I grateful that they exist.
28. I am thankful for bonfires with friends on summer nights.
29. I am thankful for 80s cover bands. Without them, I could only imagine in my head what it would be like to dance the night away to my favorite live 80's tunes.
30. I am thankful for whoever started the "Thankful November" posts on facebook. I never would have taken the time to think about all the things that I am thankful for if not for that person. It's amazing the things that we take for granted every day. I feel truly blessed.

And thats 30 things I'm thankful for. There are many more things I could have written. Many more specific people that I am thankful for. I think perhaps I should do this once a month as a way to keep my life in check. It's so easy to feel so down about life, about things you really can't change. I need to stop once in a while and look at the scenery. Life is beautiful, and I have so much to be thankful for.

ch..ch..changes...

Guess I'll write something, it's been almost a year. I have to say, that this has been a year filled with so much change and craziness, it's hard to handle. I may be just saying that because I'm currently in the midst of change. It always seems to be a bigger deal while your going through it, right? I guess most of it has to do with work. And what I even want to do with my life. And actually, what does God want me to do with my life? These are questions I probably should have considered many years ago. I guess I'm a late bloomer. Anyway, I guess the issue I'm having is that I'm not sure I'm in the right place anymore. I'm not entirely sure if I mean the right workplace or the right career path, but either way, I'm confused and overwhelmed when it comes to this part of my life. Things have happened at my job that have made me almost certain that I don't want to be there anymore. I'm not going into specifics, that's not my style. Just know that I've put a lot of thought into this, and I'm not basing my decisions off of any one particular event or emotion that I had. This thought has been in the back of my mind for some time now, and I think I've been ignoring it. I can't anymore. I think that my passion for my job has dwindled, and I'm not happy, nor do I feel very comfortable anymore. (or sometimes even welcome). I think I need some advice, but I don't know who to go to. I'm really at a loss. It's like I want someone to just tell me what to do, and make these decisions for me. That's not going to happen, and it shouldn't happen. I'm an adult and I should be able to do this on my own, and yet the thought of change is terrifying to me. I'm caught in a vicious cycle of wishing to change things but being to scared to actually make things happen. So..I'm making an attempt to change things. I've updated my resume, I've applied to a few places. I've requested some info from a college, about a career path that is not early childhood education (gasp!). I've started this, but I'm worried that I'll give up when it gets difficult or confusing, and just continue down the path I'm on that seems to be a bit of a train wreck for me, both physically and mentally. I guess what I'm trying to say is I need help. Not a little, but a lot. I need encouragement that I can do this. I need prayer, because I know that by myself, I can't do anything. I need advice. I don't really have a clue what I'm doing.......it's like driving with no idea what general direction you need to be headed in. So please...if you're reading this...pray for me..thanks :)