ch..ch..changes...

Guess I'll write something, it's been almost a year. I have to say, that this has been a year filled with so much change and craziness, it's hard to handle. I may be just saying that because I'm currently in the midst of change. It always seems to be a bigger deal while your going through it, right? I guess most of it has to do with work. And what I even want to do with my life. And actually, what does God want me to do with my life? These are questions I probably should have considered many years ago. I guess I'm a late bloomer. Anyway, I guess the issue I'm having is that I'm not sure I'm in the right place anymore. I'm not entirely sure if I mean the right workplace or the right career path, but either way, I'm confused and overwhelmed when it comes to this part of my life. Things have happened at my job that have made me almost certain that I don't want to be there anymore. I'm not going into specifics, that's not my style. Just know that I've put a lot of thought into this, and I'm not basing my decisions off of any one particular event or emotion that I had. This thought has been in the back of my mind for some time now, and I think I've been ignoring it. I can't anymore. I think that my passion for my job has dwindled, and I'm not happy, nor do I feel very comfortable anymore. (or sometimes even welcome). I think I need some advice, but I don't know who to go to. I'm really at a loss. It's like I want someone to just tell me what to do, and make these decisions for me. That's not going to happen, and it shouldn't happen. I'm an adult and I should be able to do this on my own, and yet the thought of change is terrifying to me. I'm caught in a vicious cycle of wishing to change things but being to scared to actually make things happen. So..I'm making an attempt to change things. I've updated my resume, I've applied to a few places. I've requested some info from a college, about a career path that is not early childhood education (gasp!). I've started this, but I'm worried that I'll give up when it gets difficult or confusing, and just continue down the path I'm on that seems to be a bit of a train wreck for me, both physically and mentally. I guess what I'm trying to say is I need help. Not a little, but a lot. I need encouragement that I can do this. I need prayer, because I know that by myself, I can't do anything. I need advice. I don't really have a clue what I'm doing.......it's like driving with no idea what general direction you need to be headed in. So please...if you're reading this...pray for me..thanks :)